Nikki's Playground

Poor Old Blogger!

2010-11-08T15:37:00.003+08:00

Poor old blogger! I've forgotten to write to you. No matter, I will try my very best to write again. I've been very busy with my Literature blog which can be found in Wordpress.

Thoughts, ideas, meanderings, chronicles, feelings, etc.

Here they come again!

What this Country Needs

2010-08-25T20:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, one of my friends and classmate in humanities posted a very hopeful and truly positive blog post about the importance of prayer.

An anonymous person commented at how this country doesn't need prayers, but it needs actions. Surely, from what I can surmise, this person may not believe in the power that prayers hold. Since my reply to this person is going to be lengthy, I just decided to post it here on my blog rather than comment :)

So what does this country really need? Besides love, of course ;)

Dear Anonymous #1,

I must agree that this country needs a lot of action, for what is prayer without action? However, please do not conclude that prayer is not needed at all.

What is action without direction? Believe or not, prayers give our actions a sort of direction. If not "prayer", then a wish or an aspiration - which can be, in a sense, tantamount, wouldn't you agree?

Having said that, to whom to we ultimately address our deepest wishes and aspirations? A higher Being would answer that. Does God sound familiar?

Unless you're an aetheist of course. But you must agree though that your deepest aspirations shape the way you go about things. It is a universally human thing, I should think.

In a way, prayer is the only thing that works because it gives our actions a direction.

You're right, action is needed for our country. And equally needed are prayers. I hope you have not lost the will to pray, it does wonders - one way or another :)

Sincerely,
Nikki

Intense Day

2010-08-23T20:09:00.002+08:00

What has happened to humanity? More particularly, what has happened to the Filipino people?

Earlier today, I was just writing about the legacy the Luna and Hidalgo left - Two of the greatest sons of the Philippines and Spain. They stood for valuesand ideals that many have fought and died for - and to what end? To secure us, to make sure that Filipinos of the future become as fortunate as they were, if not more.

The instense events that unfolded today had me thinking

As drove my car into the parking lot, I caught the news of a bomb threat. I quickly turned my car around, out of panic. The rest of my school's classes have been declared suspeneded. Thank God no tragedy happened to my school.

I got home just an hour ago to find my dad and our househelp on the road with
the guards and they were chasing a person who attempted to break in our house. The potential criminal has gotten away now, and all is fine in my home. Thank God.

I thought to myself that twice, my security and safety has been threatened. I began to feel unsafe both at home and at school.

But now, I also feel unsafe in my own country - scared of my own countrymen, FOR us in fact.

The day-long hostage was the worst of today. A general endangered the lives of tourists, killed
them, I've heard. A fucking general...

I might not have all the right in the world to say the following things. I've had my share of sins and shortcomings.. I say the following things with not only the recent events in mind, but all the the occasions that we have failed in.

Man - what has happened to you? You are great - you can be in fact and in a sense all things... But why have you chosen to act lower what you have been created for? Why
do we do these things to ourselves? We don't deserve this. Somehow, somewhere within man - we know that we don't want to do this. Yet we still do!

Filipino - you should have been destined for greatness. By and by, you never fail to make me proud. But at the same time, I cannot but despair at how our very own leaders and men of supposedly good name continue to disappoint their own countrymen and the world. I shake my
head at corruption though I've accepted that it is most likely. But this? In the heirarchy of crime, this is just blatantly inhumane! Madness!

I'm not losing hope though. Humanity WILL prevail. It had in the past - this is what history has told us.

Justice is in place.

We must all pray and do all we can to fix ourselves.

Extremely random

2010-08-17T12:13:00.005+08:00

I don't know. But I am extreme. Extremely irritated, or excited. Paranoid, or indifferent.

Few things going on in my life right now (I love listing):
1. Period
2. Dental crisis
3. Exams
4. To Kindle or to Nook or to shrug it off
5. A demon messing with my head
6. Fear of the future
7. Photo exhibits I'm dying to join

One. This the most emotional time of the month I've ever had. Three nights have I cried myself to sleep because of no particular reason. I was just thinking about stuff, then poof. What the hell.

Two. I have to get a tooth taken out, and I'm really scared not because it's gonna hurt but how it's going to look like after. Also, I have a huge HUGE cold sore and it's pissing me off.

Three. I have two exams - one of tomorrow and one on Thursday. I foresee major hand ache.

Four. Kindle released it's newest e-reader at freaking $139! While the Nook also released $149. I've been weighing each product's pros and cons all morning, and I think I'm on the Kindle side of the force. Although it's out of stock in Amazon. I really, really want one and I think it's a good investment for someone like me. Books are getting expensive and heavy to carry, and it's about time that my reading list gets trimmed down.

Five. I'm just paranoid like that. This is like high school all over again.

Six. Yeah, more on that in the coming days.

Seven. There's this art exhibit in my school that I think would do good for me. I joined it, but there's still no confirmation as to whether I made it on the artist roster.
Also, Shell has opened an art competition. This one has quite a hefty cash prize. I'm still preparing my entries for it but I doubt I have a good chance. It's well publicized and there are loads of better photographers out there. Trying won't hurt, I suppose.
Sony also has an open photography competition whereby the first prize are a trip to London where the awarding ceremony will be taking place, some cash, and some goodies.

If I win the Shell competition, I'm gonna definitely gonna buy a swanky e-reader - be it Kindle or Nook. And a film SLR.

That's it. No picture because I'm supposed to be busy.

Drifting

2010-08-13T20:30:00.003+08:00

Moving in and out.
Passing to and fro.

I just don't know where I can sit down anymore.

*sigh*

You'll figure it out.

Enchanted

2010-05-09T21:05:00.003+08:00

I was watching the last few scenes of this movie called "Enchanted" by Disney pictures..

I realized that I've never danced in a ball before... With a guy... Wearing a nice dress... And all made up. Sucks.

But a girl can fantasize ;)

T. Nichole

2010-04-28T18:08:00.003+08:00

So here it is. My first "official" employment ever. I've never realized that English can be so grueling a language. You can call me Teacher Nichole, by the way.

For now (or maybe for the rest of my contract), the schedules are kind of erratic. I'm still disappointed that I only do four hours a day, hence the not-so-ideal paycheck. But then again, where do you get a free check nowadays?

And I'm happy with what I'm doing. Teaching English is.. Well.. Not as easy as speaking English. Definitely not. But I'm happy to be teaching, nonetheless. Too bad my contact ends before my REAL job starts - full-time UA&P M.A. Humanities student, at your service! Come to think of it, I'm really anxious for this school year :s

Oh yes... Changes are happening. Big ones.

The Modern Philosophers Chess Set

2010-04-23T20:35:00.003+08:00

...a unique set of pieces for the masterful game of chess. This deluxe set comes with a wooden chess board borrowed from a trunk of an aged Narra tree, varnished to perfection such that each move is felt with a resounding victory.

This priceless treasure holds 32 contemporary philosophers - featuring Kierkegard, Hume, Nietzsche, Kant, etc. - as the chess pieces. Each philosopher is carved by a trained hand unto wooden 1 to 2-inch models, fully polished and ready for use.

*gets off the imagination train*

After History of Ideas, this set - especially the pieces and their division - will be arranged more wisely reasonably.

One day :D

It Blows

2010-04-19T13:07:00.001+08:00

You're just there.
I'm just here.

Why couldn't we see each other again?

Oh. That.

This blows.

The Agony

2010-04-17T11:54:00.003+08:00

...of waiting.

Two interviews and a teaching demo. Fingers crossed, this thing can be good for me.

I hope and pray that all goes well :)

Meanwhile, in the little dwelling that is my room, I'm able to cross out three books in my reading list.

Currently on: Pride and Prejudice. It's not as boring as I thought it would be.

Fingers Crossed

2010-04-13T21:54:00.003+08:00

If I get it, it will be my first ever. My first step into a world completely different from the one I live for right now.

It wouldn't last for very long, but it's as significant as a baby's first word.

I hope I get it.

For the glory, for the victory, for the win!

We were on the beach. And we were sunburned.

2010-04-11T10:03:00.003+08:00

Friday 04.09.10 6 a.m. - Saturday 04.10.10 9 p.m.

Gas station stop overs. SCTEX. Subic wating. American Idol on Cams' phone. Adobo. Adobo rice. Liempo. Fish. Jellyfish. BEACH. Tents. Sand. Camping. Depriving bathrooms. The Bar. 7-up. Ice drops. No signal AT ALL. The "lake". Exploring the woods. Stars and constellations. Boat riding. HUGE waves. Ice-ice-water. Photos, photos, photos!!!

An epic one night and two days adventure with friends and family

*sigh of gratitude*

Let go

2010-04-03T21:09:00.003+08:00

When a person leaves, it's really hard to let go. I think almost every person on Earth knows how it feels to lose something... or someone. It's really hard to let go of the memory they trail. Most of the time, the good memories make it hard to let go... to forget.

But then, bad memories also make it hard to forget certain things in the past. No matter how much you'd like to forget the bad memories, your mind keeps coming back to those. You know how certain tangible things have an attached feeling or memory to it? That's how memories stick, right? If we associate something tangible to a memory, it is preserved - at least for me. In my mind, good memories have a consequent thing, and bad memories also have a consequent thing - a tangible thing that you will come across with some time again... inevitably.

Bad memories are hard to let go too. It's sad, really. You want to forget because it's all over... All patched up. Everything's okay now, but the memory bludgeons you, bothers you.

It's April. I'm atop a mountain in the East of the City. Two memories attached to these things haunt me this very moment...

Maybe this April, I will replace that bad memory with a good one.

Maybe I'm here again... To make a new memory that I will associate to this place.

Maybe, I will.

Summer na!

2010-04-01T13:18:00.003+08:00

Hello again! Stress days have taken a vacation, and summer is here. It's been long since I last touched blogger. Anyway, my summer officially started last Monday, March 29. After I finished that last paper for Rizal, I was free! But even prior the said freedom, I was already celebrating the summer vacation when my family and I left for Pundakit, Zambalez last weekend :p Once again, my father's obsession with beaches did not fail us. The islands we visited were indeed paradise-like. I'd love to go there again, and we just might next week :) Two photos are up at my Flickr page.

Joao left for Cebu last Monday. But before he did, he hung out the day before. Dinner at Antipolo... Which sucked... And coffee in Figaro place.

After that, my days were spent in the house... Reading and occasionally playing drums on Guitar Hero. It's pretty hard. I've downloaded a few books to get me through the next few weeks. I'm currently digging my face into Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. So far, it's got lots of bullshit... But the guy knows how to make thrillers. It's satisfactory, thus far.

Yesterday was different though... My friends decided to take a trip to Raffy's hacienda. Hehe. They have a nice pool there that we took advantage of. After a series of photo-taking, underwater coin-hunting, and Kornets eating, we went to Pizza Hut to dinner. The usual coffee crew + Abby were supposed to head over to my place afterward, but we were all too tired and called it a day.

Well.. That's my summer thus far. Nothing sentimental.. Yet. Nothing rant-y.. Yet. We'll see in the next weeks :)

Passing By

2010-03-16T22:33:00.003+08:00

Passing by because I missed writing in my blog. I've still got many things to do for school, but soon... When the gates of academic life set me free, I will update this. Very much often.

Oh sweet Leisure, I can not wait to be back in your dwelling.

Soon. Very soon.

What's been going on

2009-12-20T18:38:00.003+08:00

Quandary was a success. It was my debut as a director. I'm really happy with the way it turned out. My actors were fantastic. As for the other plays, there were very good. I'm gonna miss holding rehearsals. But alas, one must move on to other activities in life...

Such as the World Bank photo contest. I mentioned a few entries back that I joined this photo contest with the theme of "Making Growth Work For the Poor". And yes, I was one of the 15 finalists :D A couple of weeks ago, I think, I attended the awarding ceremony at their office. Free food, of course and the checks were to be released. Goodie! Anyway, I had a blast with Abby, Camille, Herb, and Raffy while we pigged out on free food and poke fun at one the development marketing winners. More of this to come in my Multiply rant blog.

For the past week, I've been squeezing Christmas shopping/Christmas presents making in between papers, classes, and research topic proposals. Having two research subjects really blows. I've probably heard the whole lecture on citation 4-5 times in my life. Anyway, I just have to share that I went to Quiapo all by myself one morning. It was quite an experience I'd definitely want to do again.

And of course, Christmas shopping must come to a culmination: Christmas parties! Thus far, I've only (sort of) attended three: Bodega, Block H, and Hum Chritmas parties. For the first two, I never really got to the fun part/s since I had to leave early. Sucks because seeing all the pictures just reminds me of how much I'm still treated like I'm 16. Although, I got to stay a little late for the hum party (which was last night, and which was fun too).

Those are basically what's been going on in my life the past few weeks. And now, I am on Christmas vacation. But that doesn't mean I get days off from work. Sigh. But at least I've had my share of Christmas fun, and I know there will be more in the coming days. Yay!

I've Got A Feeling

2009-11-26T00:09:00.003+08:00

So far, so good. Just when I was thinking that things couldn't get any worse, well... it didn't. It's actually been pretty awesome.

Upon enlistment for the second semester, I was already groaning at how my schedule looked terrible and how the amount of work I have to put in would have to be +50 compared to first semester.

And then, critique's night did not turn out very well for the play I'm directing. There a lot of criticisms I can trace to the director. The play had to be fixed many ways and there were only 5 days to go until the first show (which was today).

Not to mention, a big fight had ensued between me and him that rooted from a misunderstanding.

Nonetheless this week seems to be spreading out well for me. Maybe it's too early to say this, but thus far, I have already a lot to be thankful of.

The Monday rehearsal was stressful. I had to rehearse my two actors separately because of schedule conflicts. It was my hopping from one room to another, repeating the same instructions over and over again. Although it was very much tiring and I still had AIfuckingS afterwards, I can say that it was a fruitful pair of rehearsal schedule and the major changes really sunk in the actors.

Tuesday was a good day. On one hand, it was filled with the anxiety for the next day's Intro to Art report, on the other I had a lot of free time on me. Much of it was spent discussing the said report, watching a trippy Japanese movie, and cleaning up a swanky New York flat/loft/whatever. After the said activities, I had my very first day in Spanish 103 class. It wasn't bad, and the class seemed fun. But this was very pinnacle of my Tuesday: a letter from the World Bank. Yup. Upon entering home, I was informed of the letter that the World Bank had sent. I entered a photo contest in which the theme was Economic Growth. Guess what? I didn't win! But I was a finalist, one of the 15 chosen photographers out the 400 that entered.... Wow. Holy shit.

And then today. Great day. I did an awesome report with my partner. We broke the "curse". We were the first people to ever report for that major class. And there's this curse that those who go first always present a sucky outcome. But now, I can breath well. Me and my partner haven't any report to worry about anymore. Also, the elated feeling of receiving that World Bank letter lingered throughout the day. And then earlier was the 1st Quandary show. The play I'm directing, Dialogo, was first in line of the series. I must say, that it was superb. Everything went well. My actress was stellar. My actor fortunately improved. The music elevated the play. The lights, and everthing else proceeded accordingly. I felt so... Proud.

I have all these aforementioned things to thank for, and a lot more. Tomorrow will be the school's Eucharistic Procession and as planned, I'm gonna be taking part of it. Not only because I want to and I have to, but also because I have these BULK of things to thank God for :)

I hope the rest of the ~~forever~~week can be this great.

Trendy Stuff

2009-11-10T07:32:00.005+08:00

You know it's THAT time of the year when you start seeing people walking around with red Starbucks cups. It's the time where Figaro, The Coffee Bean, Seattle's Best, or Bo's suck and Starbucks rise from the ashes of evil and become awesome. It's the time where stickers and red cards fly around your local Starbucks shop. It's the time where you hurt your wallet and pockets a little bit more for Le Corporation.

Ahhh. Peppermint Mocha and Toffee Nut. How we've missed you. And a new one that I've yet to try, Dark Cherry.

But I am not to talk about those simple (yet expensive) joys in life. I will blogging about the other reason why people claim Starbucks Christmas is awesome: The Planners.

I was never really one of those avid sticker collectors of Starbucks. The first time the promo came out, I was too destitute to care. The next times it came out, well it got suckier.

Let me show you how Starbucks Planners went from awesome to big-ass bulky, to just plain sucky, and back to a little bit awesome.

The 2006 Planner (Left. Source) was definitely, undoubtedly the most awesome creation of Starbucks that is in the nature of organizer notebooks. The first and the last of its kind. I remember the interior being quite nice. I'd have to credit Starbucks for the clever idea of putting in there their "coffee portfolio" or menu of some sorts. It makes people crave at the sight of it. But the very thing that made it so totally fucking HOLY-COW awesome? The coupons. Goodness gracious, when that planner came out I was just overjoyed. Free coffee coupons, free shots, discounts and what not!! The stickers were definitely worth it. 2006 = Awesome sauce.

The 2007 Planner (Right) was just plain big-ass bulky. Sure, it had a free notepad inside but come on. Don't you think they went a little bit overboard with that one? It's FAT, and Starbucks must have went koo-koo when they design this with a leather case which made it even more Cartman-FAT. We actually have three untouched copies of that thing lying around the house.
And you know what sucks the most? No coupons. Boo, Fat ass! 2007 = Fat and Stupid

2008 Planner (Source) followed the fat and stupid characteristic of its predecessor. Bad, kiddy-type, close-to-Comic Sans font. Also coupon-less. 2008 = Like your fat ass classmate whose brain is the size of a raisin.

2009 Planner (Source) was boring. It's definitely improved in sophistication when you compare it to the previous one. But the trade off was boring-ness. Why was it boring? The design is only secondary. The primary is because it's coupon-less again. By that time, I had lost hope. 2009 = Anorexic greedy rich kid who won't give free coffee!!

2010 Planner (Source). So I had my first Starbucks Christmas goodie yesterday. A brewed Toffee Nut thingy. Ahh. Yummy. And because of the past three sucky Starbucks planners, I did not take any interest in this 2010 one. I didn't even bother to browse through the sample. I just thought, boring. Would've been better the cover was one of my photos. Hehe. But soon after, Joao arrived and got his coffee, sat down and told me the good news. They have it back. The coupons. Hallelujah! Hope! Change! Free coffee but not quite!! It isn't as awesome as the first one. The coupons in this one, I was told were only of discounts and free shots. But that's okay! I can't wait. We have to get this one. 2010 = Awesome but less than that of 2006.

Sigh. Yes. Thank you.

Here's Goes Adenture!

2009-11-07T02:52:00.007+08:00

It's been such a long time since I last stepped on Tagaytay soil. I can't recall when it was, but I definitely remember being very young.

Here's a recap of the said day-trip with HALLOH f

riends:

Cams slept over my place so as to make Raffy's life easier and pick us up both in one go. We set up our "bedroom" in the living room area because my room was too cramped and messy. American Idol was on the T.V. as we dozed off to sleep.

It was a refreshing feeling when I got to drive again. Optramus is still weak and can't be used around, so I haven't driven in ages. Me, Herb, Raffy, Abby, and Seph took turns with the stirring wheel but it was Raffy and Seph that got us through SLEX.

The first agenda upon arrival was lunch. We were all very hungry thanks to the tardiness of Raffy and Herb. Leslie's Restaurant was the choice of many because of the food and the great view it offers. While waiting for the food to be served, I set up the tripod and tried to do landscape photographs of the Taal Lake/Volcano. Epic Fail on my part. I don't think I was able to follow Joao's instructions very well. Although I took under and over-exposed shots and normal shots of the same frame. What does this mean, my friends? HDR!

After being filled with Filipino food and serenaded by musicians, we wanted more food particularly from the Mushroom Burger place. But since we were full, we decided to pass time shopping in the Ukay-ukay shops. Cheap, nice, yet smelly clothing. I'd definitely want to go back there equipped with more cash.

Once starved, we drove over to the Mushroom Burger place to take out some of their best-known burgers. It had been such a long time since I had one of these that I forgot that the mushrooms were mixed with the patty. This was to my disappointment since I was looking forward to having actual mushrooms in my burger. It nonetheless tasted great. Although I would have enjoyed it much tremendously if there were mushrooms.

Anne, Abby, and I chose not to join the Zipline Fun on account of practicality and "safety" (for Anne). We settled with watching from below and taking photographs. Although, I should try that one day with a more exciting-looking course.

And I haven't mentioned the back-seat moments with Abby and Camille. Well, to sum it up we simply "partied", made fun of Herb, and had very odd, funny conversations.

Before parting ways and getting dropped off in our respective

houses, we decided to be trendy and stop by High Street. Why? We don't even know. We just wanted to use the trendy wash rooms and walk about the trendy cements of High Street. Also, we did a bit of browsing in Fully Book which resulted in my wishing I had all the money and time to buy and read all the books I wanted. They also found interesting notebooks and Zombie books that they seem to give keen attention to. Plants vs. Zombies, anyone?

That was great trip to Tagaytay. I look forward to having more trips with these people, and the people who weren't able to make it.

All Saints/Souls Day

2009-11-02T16:11:00.003+08:00

Last night on the way back home from my grandparents' place in Manila, I thought about life and death. Earlier that day, my little sister fainted in Quiapo Church just while communion was taking place. It was the first time that I witnessed something like that, and it's just peculiar that it happened to my sister. I had a feeling that she was very nauseated, yet again everyone was. It was hot and crowded inside the church and we didn't have a place to sit since we came in late. All of sudden, my sister just collapsed before we could even get her out of the church. Her face was in pallor. Her lips were beggining to darken. I held her arm, and she was dead cold. Dead cold, I thought. I know you might think of me as exaggerating, but at that time immense fear covered my thoughts. Could she be eventually...? I wanted to cry, but I guess I was in such shock and I didn't know what to do. My dad held her in his hards and he sat down the base of the lamp post. My mom ran to the nearest water vendor. I assisted my little little sister. My dad was panicking and asked me to find a fan. I didn't move. I just stared at my sister and a gush of relief engulfed me. I saw her chest, she was breathing. A kind lady handed me a fan and I gave it to my dad. It was only at this moment that I noticed all the people that gathered aroung us. I got a bit annoyed, but then i guess it can't be helped. My sister helped herself to some water that my mom got for her. Then we walked toward our car which was fortunately nearby. She stumbled a few times on our way there, but I was relieved that she had regained conciousness. In the car, she recovered fully. She told me how exactly she felt. The blackout, deafness, the heat, dizziness... To me, it was... Well... Amazing, I guess. I've never experienced it, and it was the very first time I've seen someone in that state.

I realized how important my little sister actually is to me, and how luckier I am than my dad. Me and my dad are the same in the sense that the sibling after as is pretty much our "mortal enemies". In order for my dad to realize how important his brother is to him, well, tito had to die. And until his death, they failed being nice to each other. I've not only my sister's life to thank for, but also the fact that it did not take her loss for me to realize her importance...

A lot of people say that you never really appreciate something or someone until that person dies or is lost. I've seen many cases of this, and have actually experienced it several times - both on the end of the lost and the lose-r. I've seen and experienced it a number of times to say that it both applies and does not apply. The lose-r apprecietes the lost, yet he/she does not necessarily apply that to everything else which is why the lose-r loses some more. For instance, my mother lost a baby before Maggie was born, and this was due to work and stress... After Maggie, she lost another baby due to the same thing. It sticks to you for a while, but maybe not a lifetime - not for some people. In the end, I think it's all a matter of learning one's lesson.

The point I'm driving at? I don't know. I guess I should just try my very hardest to stick to the lessons I learned. I guess... I shouldn't wait for a loss before I grasp something as "important".

A Bit Under the Weather

2009-10-30T19:22:00.004+08:00

I've been officially on vacation for two days now - the ever so longed for vacation. But I'm gonna have to say that it's not all peaches and cream as I expected it to be. For the past two days, I've been switching between reading and putting album artworks on my iPod. Well, I've been doing other stuff amidst those two (like usual internet stuff, eating and eating some more) but really, reading and scouting for album artworks occupy hours out of my day.

Not that I'm complaining for the reading part. It's actually one of the things that made me look forward to this break and one of the things that keep me sane in this house. My reading list is interminable. I doubt I can finish all before the 18th.

For the iPod part, it started pretty fun at first. Then, I just realized how sad it is, scouting for album artworks, putting it in Sgt. Chimp. And I spent hour after hour doing that just so my cover flow could look great and less boring. I just find it quite sad. On a brighter note, I can now slightly recognize which song of which artist goes to which album. In my mind, I also rewarded the artwork I think is the best. And the winner is...

Hurrah for Streetlight Manifesto's album Somewhere in the Between. The simplicity takes my breath away.... Seriously. It's nice.

Another thing that's bringing me down is the weather. This Santi typhoon is only making it much more impossible for me to head out. I just hope this won't be as bad as the previous ones, and it won't last for very long. Fuck it, I hope it just suddenly stops before 6am tomorrow.

Also, I've been to the Cainta Municipal Hall 3 times since last night. After all the waiting, I ended up coming home unregistered and pissed of at the system. THE MAN IS BRINGING ME DOWN.

In addition to my being under the weather, I've been really paranoid lately. Sigh.

Blah!

Oh yeah before ending this, the WB called me up and said I got in the intial screening! *happy dancing to Dominoes Fall!*

Almost there!

2009-10-25T10:48:00.003+08:00

I can almost taste it... Sem break! I'm down to my last two requirements and they're both for darned Political Thought. But at least, yay! Assuming I did considerably well in my last PRS exam and I wouldn't have to take a removal on Tuesday, that would leave me with the final paper and the video.

Sweet, sweet vacation. Here I come! Photographs, books, movies, TV, friends, trips, and food! Ahh. I will be very broke come sembreak, but that's okay! And all must be done in a span of 20 days because second sem starts at November 18.

2nd sem = added gravitation :D

Jack and Jill

2009-10-17T21:09:00.002+08:00

Since the Ondoy catastrophe, I've been commuting to school and back home on most days because my car, Optramus, is a wreck. My usual commuting combination goes something like tricycle-tricyle-FX to school and FX-tricycle-tricylce back home. If I go to school after lunch hours, I go tricylce-FX-LRT-MRT-walk which is quite a pleasant adventure every time because I get to pass through Gateway and check out shops there.

Anyway, last Friday my groupmates in Pol Thought decided not to have a meeting so my class started at 10.30, Theology. Because I'm a lazy procrastinating person, I left the house at 10. When I got to the FX station, well... All the FX's are gone and they're no longer lending their services. Faced with the same situation some time in the past, I then waited for a jeepney that's going somewhere in Ortigas Ave. I got on and everything was still good. I got off on Ortigas Ave and waited for an FX there. But every public utility vehicle was just... Full.

It was 10.15 and I really must get to ACB50-something because we a quiz. In desperation, I walked and walked and looked for a jeepney that's going to "Crossing". Well... Sucks. Every fucking jeepney won't stop to have passengers get on because, well, they were all full. Although, there was one jeepney that stopped for me. It looked really full inside, but I suppose there was still space since they had stopped. When I stepped inside, there in the middle was a little kiddie stool and I was asked to sit on it. Having no other choice, I sat on the hobbit-y thing in the middle and tripped along the way. The entire journey to Ortigas was hell . It was full, hot, and sweaty and people inside won't stop complaining which made it even more hotter because of the CO2 coming out of their mouths. Also, a quabble arose between a lady passenger and the barker person. The jeepney took a strange route - at least, it's strange to me because the FX's I usually take stops me right in front of school or at least in San Miguel Ave.

This one didn't. I had to get off on the corner going to Escrive Drive. It was 10.45 and I had to walk a bit more to get to school. And so I walked - sweaty, tired, and freakishly pissed off.

When I got to the fifth floor, two of my classmates glanced when I stood near the door and was about to enter. They signaled something to me which I could understand. Then, I got a text from one of them

Kapag daw na-late tapos gusto pa mag-quiz, dapat kakanta sa harap.

OF ALL THE FUCKING DAYS. Our teacher never employed this rule on any of our meetings before. How timely. Hoping that our teacher never seriously meant this, I went inside with a sheepish smile. "Oh! Ms. Arellano! Do you still want to take the quiz?" he asked. I nodded a yes while still smiling at him, hoping that he wouldnt make any mention of any singing in front of class. "You're a performer, right? Good! I'll just finish this, and you're next on our agenda."

As I sat and waited for my turn to be humiliated, I thought about how indolent I was and I thought about the stupid people on the jeepney and stuff like that. In my mind, I also thought about what to perform.

So when I got to the "stage", I was given a mic. I asked the people in front of me what their favorite nursery rhyme was, and one of my classmates shouted Jack and Jill. "Easy enough", I thought. So there. I just sang with matching actions and when it came to the stupid "Lalalala" part I asked the whole class to sing with me.

The whole thing probably looked stupid, but hey... I made the whole class laugh. At me, that is. And, I still got to take the test which was the only thing I was terribly worried about the entire jeepney trip.

Well, that's it. Adios.

Photography

2009-10-15T22:39:00.003+08:00

I finally submitted the photos for the World Bank contest. Thank God they decided to accept entries via e-mail. And thank God they extended the deadline. I don't think I can afford entering the contest if I had to print my pictures. Actually, I have photo paper and lots of ink at home. But, you know. The photo paper sucks and the deadline is tomorrow... or today. I'm not really sure. Hehe.

I submitted a total of five photos - all of them were completely improvised, four were crammed in one day, and one was a photo I took about five months ago. I practically forced meaning out of the minute things I photographed that's just lying around the house.

This is the first time I'm entering a skill contest of some sort so this is actually a pretty big deal for me (with a pretty huge cash prize). Oh no. Yeah, I did join the Ecolympics last year which was just complete epic fail. And if I do win this, it's also gonna be my first time to win anything. At least, as far as I can remember.

So, yeah. Please please please. Whoever is reading this, pray for me :) Cross-fingers. I really want to win something. Or be discovered. That works too.

this week is making me weak

2009-10-13T19:58:00.003+08:00

This is what my week looks like. I just want to cry because of all the requirements due next week all almost at once.

Yesterday was practically zombie day. I pulled an all-nighter on Sunday for PRS homework only to find out the next day that I royally screwed up because I lacked... Arrows. Yes. That's all I lacked and it takes off 20 points from the perfect score.

Commuting to school isn't all that bad thus far. The lines weren't epic long, and I afforded to leave the house at eight yet still arrive on time in school. Also, due to lack of budget, I was accompanied by Steinbeck with an audiobook of his novela - The Pearl. Reading literature beats listening to it by lightyears, but oh well.

From tonight 'til Sunday, I'm gonna have to sleep at 1 am earliest. I have a total of 7 requirements all due next week... Also, the 50,000-peso photo competition of World Bank. And I don't even want to think about what this one further entails (Staged shoots, a trip to the ONDOY evacuation center, find myself a blackboard. Ugh.) And yes. Rehearsals on one night and one afternoon. And also that essay writing contest awarding ceremony.

I CANNOT wait for sembreak. Here's my list of must-do's for the highly anticipated, needed sem break:

1. Super Day Trip with friends - this one includes: Splash Island, Enchanted Kingdom, Tagaytay. All in one day! If not possible, then we'll sleep over somewhere...
2. Read all the books that's been on hold in my list since the start of sem.
3. Watch TV series! Particularly MASH, and more Lost. Maybe start a bit of Big Bang Theory?
4. A weekend or one-night sleepover at the Delfins'. This is a must during every vacation.
5. Block out an entire day for High School Friends :)
6. Start over (again) with Mrs. P (my laptop that just got back home from the repair shop)
7. Earn money. Or at least come up with an even more comprehensive business plan for that online shop I want to put up.
8. Hang-out with him.

Oh yeah... Rehearsals. Arghh.

Sigh. Well... Back to school work. I'm lagging behind schedule.

Good Morning

2009-10-12T07:02:00.003+08:00

I'm always late in joining fads. I have this thing for not giving in and selling out...

right away.

I had two hours of sleep.

After finishing up what I had to do for SEA last night (2:30am), I thought I could go and get some sleep already. Well, turned out I couldn't. So...

I'm sorry :(

I Plants Vs. Zombies myself to sleep.
I blame Pop Cap for producing the most addicting games. And my friends (Abby!) for getting me into this.

Blah

2009-10-11T23:40:00.003+08:00

Here's another entry full of emotional crap i hope everyone can read but at the same time don't. Again, tears run down my cheeks as I write. But who's fault is it except mine? Why must I always purposedly hurt myself by venturing into things I'm not supposed to?

I'm a stalker. And I must admit that I'm particularly good at this. CSI would be my second option if my future plans won't work out. But yeah. Earlier this morning, I "came across" something in the internet... A blog. I'm a sucker for blogs. I try to read all of the entries of a particular person when I stumble upon his/her threshold.

But the blog I "stumbled" into did not just belong to any other person in the interwebs. It belonged to someone whose writings may, will, hurt me if I decided to drown myself into reading.

Why must I purposedly hurt myself...?

I don't know. But after perusing over the said blog, I did not know what to feel. Honestly, I don't. It's a good thing that I try to read entries chornologically as much as possible. Since the blog is fairly new, I didn't mind starting from the very beggining - in the beginning where it hurt the most... Where I realized what I'm really up against. Or rather, what I'm really into.

That entry was six months ago. He was like that... Like how I feared he actually is. I asked myself, what difference can there be in six months? In four months? When put in the same situation as when shit (multiple of them) happened. How would he be?

I just started crying. But even so, I went on... I read.

Until the next entry of him came, my doubt was appeased just a little bit. It was how Thailand had saved the world. Although I couldn't help but imagine how it would have gone if Thailand wasn't in the picture. It devastated me.

Right now, lots of things are racing through my head. I still don't know what exactly I should be feeling, how I should be reacting. I would say that how I'm handling this had improved. If this happened sometime earlier this year, I would burst into an emotional rage and curse everyone in my way.

Pol thought

2009-09-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

I hate that subject with such fervor. I just... HATE IT. Political thought, I bet, is an interesting course when paired to a much more exciting lecturer who does not give out requirements as if there is no tomorrow! UGH!

I want to drop it.

Must.... Not. Must... Be... On time! GRRR!!!!

Inner thoughts i can't believe i have

2009-09-20T11:12:00.000+08:00

I wish you wrote songs for me too.

two rants in one entry

2009-09-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

Don't you just hate it when you're in the momentum of doing something and then suddenly some dickwad just cuts you off?

I just came from a movie that people see because they enjoy seeing the characters dying horrifically one by one (Final Destination.) And, having been freaked out by the previous Final Destinations, I was only looking forward to taking photos of the ctiyscape view from the parking lot building.

Finally, the movie was through (Everyone died, of course). I walked straight out of the mall and into the parking lot and tried to take photos of the view. I was in the middle of adjusting the shutter speed when suddenly the guard went up to me and demanded a permit.

Permit? Well, as far as I know, the roads of marikina city is public property. So who do I get permit from then? The taxpayers? Do I knock on each door of each person in the city just to take a photo of the view? And then after, should I reflect and ask myself, "Nikki, would you allow yourself to take photos of the roads that you are paying for and will further pay for?"

I was taking a photo FROM the building, not OF it. Tell me, did I violate anything?

If it really is a law of the land not to take photos without permit.. well.. stupid law. Let's see you sue everyone in Flickr.

And, I watched The Final Destination hoping that the protagonist, at the least, would survive the clusterfuck (Just as I did for the previous one.). But no, everyone just dies. Shit.

Simple pero Rock!

2009-09-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

I had a good day. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad at all. I had an amazing breakfast, took part in the noon Mass, had an awesome time in my Majors class. I even had time for coffee afterward. I traveled the world too! (Thanks to Google Earth.) To add to that, I got a total of four Twix bars, a sweet letter from one of my best friends, and numerous of greeting in person, text, online, and what have you.

It was very simple, just like any other day only.. I'm just extra happy. And now, I just finished a piece of cake I picked out earlier with my Mom. Yummy.

I wish everyone always acted like it's each others' birthdays. Hahaha!

Intramuros and others

2009-09-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

Under the scorching heat, within the walled city, and atop the walls. How I wished I had a camera in hand. But then, the experience had tattooed itself on my memory forever.

No photograph can ever portray the happiness I felt that day. The tremendous amount of happiness.

Every time and any where, it's always astig.

Eggman

2009-09-04T19:13:00.000+08:00

I opted not to write this on my multiply blog because... This entry will be a serious one. Hehe. Anyway, lots of people have written their angst, their grievances, and what have you on the recently transpired deaths. I suppose the reason why I only write now is because, I am only starting to recover from disbelief. The news shocked me so.

Film class was a different experience. I had one cut, and I remember that it's because I was having a bad day. After that, though, I never cut because coming inside the film classroom meant an exotic film and an intensive discussion on, more often not the technicalities and elements, but the story and message of it. However much I disliked several of the films we watched because of their pretentiousness, I enjoyed the class tremendously. I stepped out having new rants and raves, having clutters of debate in my head about art and film. I found his teaching methods disagreeable because he did not give enough time for the concepts and elements of film, but he still did give time and that boosted my interest in the subject even more. Despite that, I learned quite a lot. The discussions on each film made a much more lasting memory than the films themselves.

I always said to myself that if I become a teacher, I would only want to teach two subjects: Literature and Film. And I would like to think that my desire to teach these subjects were heavily inspired by the experience I had having been a student in those classrooms.

Thank you for making that semester interesting and worth noting. No one deserves the injustice that they did to you and your love. You will be missed very much so. I still stand firm that the 11-hour film can not be compared alongside the great Sistine Chapel. And yes, I also wish that Star Cinema would stop... Just... Stop. Rest in peace, sir.

And yes, it sucks that people would do such a thing so undue and just... wrong. I hate it. Sigh. I hope justice will make them pay with interest.

Vacations and What Not.

2009-09-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

Me and my family have gone to two different beach trips over the past two sets of long weekends. And I do think that the thing about this is my Dad making up for all the lost beach trips that should have been made during the summer.

I will say though, the trip to Bohol was the best vacation trip I've had thus far. Even much more enjoyable than last year's Surigao trip! The only complaint I can think of about Bohol was the staggering amount of Filipina prostitutes "lending their services" to a staggering amount of foreigners. But even that was a mild source of amusement.

Besides the bonding and time I had with my family most specifically with my sisters, photography was also one of the best things I gained from the trip. Travelling, I say, has an effect on me. It does inspire me so.

I claim that the Bohol trip was much needed. For me, for everyone. If I could only invite friends whom I think are need of a break, I would have ten plus plus individuals coming along. The year has been very stressful, and I daresay, 2009 the most terrible year out of the 19 I have gone through. Bohol was just what I needed. White sand, beautiful blue beach, snorkling, and lots of food. Wow. Returning to Manila somewhat curled my lips a little bit downwards.

I pardon myself for raving because it was my first time to visit the place. And I do hope that it won't be the last.

And now, for reality...

It's one thing to care, it's another thing to meddle

2009-09-01T20:06:00.000+08:00

The former's approach is quite affectionate... The latter it just... Well... Harrasing, annoying... And controlling, to an extent.

The only exception for meddling is... Maybe... Suicide. Or attempts at death... Or anything of the sort... Or crime...

If not... Well... Mind your own business.

Modified W.H. Auden

2009-07-13T21:43:00.000+08:00

Nothing to blog about. So yeah.

He is my North, my South, my East, my West
My working week and my Sunday rest
My Noon, my Midnight, my Talk, my Song
He is my all and to him I belong.
_____________________________________

The original last line by W.H. Auden:
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

Sigh. I'd like to think my modified sounds more... In tune. Nyahaha.

Good night.

Operation: Gain Weight!

2009-07-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

I've come up with a daily diet that will effectively help me gain weight. My target is 100 lbs.

Hahaha.

* 3 whole cups of rice / day
* 2 glasses of milk / day
* 2 sandwiches / day
* 3 pieces of fruity stufs / day
* Lots of ice cream and cake and chocolates
* EAT WHATEVER EDIBLE THING YOU SEE

Must. Gain. Weight :((

Wednesday Adams

2009-07-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

Back in highschool, I used to love wednesdays. I think it was Club day and we get dismissed earlier than usual. And then I began to hate wednesdays at the start of college because of that fucking NSTP. But now, it's all good because I don't have classes every wednesday anymore...

How do I spend this day? Hmmm.

I would usually catch up on my readings. Philo and Family (I don't even bother to touch Pol Thought adn SEA anymore). Or sometimes, just leisurely read a good book or watch a movie I downloaded.

But this specific wednesday, I have many an errands to run and a sick and aching body to deal with. Ugh.

I really want my car back now.

Third Year Thus Far

2009-07-08T12:56:00.000+08:00

I'm home and I'm so tired from the ROC G.A... If I had gone to the party, I'd be sleeping there. Well.. Just dropped by to say hi to my blog thing.

So yeah. Third year thus far? Sucky. Really, really sucky because of new nosebleed inducing subjects, crazy classmates in Hum subjects, difficult life decisions, sacrifices... And the like.

First half of 09? Very, very difficult. I hope that the next half, I will be able to pull through... Not just me, but for all the people who feel the same about this year. You know who you are :)

I need to get my shit together... And I will try very hard to.

Alejandro Jesus (The precious star I love so dear) lives. But it just has to wait a little more and try a little bit harder to shine at its brightest.

Good night.

The Star

2009-07-06T07:09:00.000+08:00

The star lives to shine again. It's still up there, hopeful as ever. And it's going
through such a big mess right now...

I still believe in that star. In due time, it will shine at its brightest again.

In due time.

Proposal Night

2009-07-05T10:09:00.000+08:00

How far would you go to get someone to say "yes"? Last night, I went to Herb's proposal dinner. It's amazing how he went through all that shit just to get Lizzie to say yes, even it was already inevitable that she was gonna say yes... He still bothered with the cheesy crap.

I'm a very pessimistic bitch. But fuck... I was pretty touched by the whole shindig last night.

To Herb and Lizzie, congratulations. Thanks for making me a part of your special day. If you still need me in seven years, Herb, I'll be here to make shit more cheesy. Salamat sa free food. Nyahahahaha.

Another Note To Self

2009-07-04T13:14:00.000+08:00

Hi, I'm Nikki Arellano and I can get so emotional that it's not good for my health and for society because the emotions could take control, and then I tend to use them as basis for my actions.

Next time, I will try very hard to use my reason under serious and urgent situations. It processes things slow, and I am very impatient. But I must learn to mellow down the passion and be more patient.

Think, Nikki! You're a smart girl!

Sigh.

2009-07-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

This uncertainty certainly does add thrill and excitement. I find myself eager to go to school everyday.

Take your time, Nikki. Enjoy today before tomorrow runs toward you again from who knows where.

SHIT.

2009-06-29T12:32:00.001+08:00

Bakit ba tila mas masarap ang buhay kapag may minamahal? Maraming tao sa mundo ay matagal nang iniitay na magkaroon ng isang taong mamahalin. Yun bang hahawakan ang kamay mo kahit san ka man pumunta, yun bang bigla ka nalang hahalikan in the middle of a conversation, yun bang makapagbibigay sa’yo ng kaligayahan.

Siguro nga yun ang hinahanap ng maraming tao sa pag-ibig, no? Yung kaligayahan. Yung fact na hindi ka na magiging mag-isa. Lagi siyang nandiyan, lagi mo’ng katext. Kaya yung ibang tao ata’t na atat magka-“syota”.

Inaamin ko naman na isa yan sa mga rason kung bakit patuloy pa rin akong naghahanap ng taong mamahalin. Siyempre, ayoko namang maging mag-isa. Masarap yung may lagi kang kasama e. Masarap yung may nag-lalambing sa’yo at may nilalambing ka.
Pero, napag-isip isipan ko na… Hindi naman talaga yun ang gusto ko kaya ako naghahanap ng pagmamahal. Yung gusto ko talaga siguro… Yung shit.

Oo, yung shit.

Aminin na natin. Lahat naman tayo may shit e. Tae. Dumi. Gets mo? Yun ang okay sa pag-ibig. Yung mga shit na nararansan niyo sa isang relationship yung nagpapalakas sa inyo, hindi yung kaligayahan. Paano pag nawala yung mga moments na maligaya? Hindi naman sa lahat oras masaya, di ba? Astig kayo kung tinatanggap niyo ang shit ng isa’t isa. Astig kayo pag nag-aaway kayo, pero sa huli, nagkakaintidihan pa din. Bakit? Eh gusto niyo yung shit ng isa’t isa eh.

Isang araw, makakahanap din ako ng mamahalin na tatanggapin ang shit ko, tulad ng pagtanggap ko sa shit niya. Kahit na mag-shitan kami, okay lang kasi sa huli, kaya naming ibahin ang shit na yun into something nice. Like… A chocolate bar.

Sige na. Makapag-philo na nga.

EDIT --------------

Shit. Nahanap ko na pala. Sana, forever na.. :)

My Plans For 3rd Year College

2009-06-28T13:25:00.000+08:00

These are my plans/goals for 3rd year of college. I'm gonna make it awesome.

1. Get a grade of ones in Hum subjects
2. Recite more with conviction
3. Act in a Kultura play
4. Be a kick-ass director for ViARE
5. Produce the best I ROC U in the history of ROC. And also be a useful officer.
6. Finish at least one play I'm writing
7. Get a camera. Learn and love it.
8. Improve Photoshop skills to pay the bills.
9. Party.
10. Move on!

I'm gonna make this school year awesome. I promise.

Artsy Any

2009-06-24T11:55:00.000+08:00

Before anything else, Happy Birthday Keena Sotto!

I haven't done any shit for school as of yet. I'm feeling under the weather and I can't get my academic gear on. Sigh. If I could only throw this depressing feeling out to the ocean.

Anyway, to cheer my self up, I decided to whip out my crayons, my color pens and markers, my pencils, and my sketchpad and just doodled and drew the sadness away. But then, it didn't, really.

My uncle bought a neat new Canon PowerShot thingy, and he's letting me borrow it for kicks. So I've been tinkering around with it and everything, and it seems like a pretty nice camera. I hope he gives it to me.

Asa.

Off to "work"

Like A Barfed Cherry on A Shitty Day

2009-06-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

I just got home from the what marks the first day of my 3rd year in college.

The day was generally, I don't know how to describe it. Well, shitty. Nonetheless, I was at the comfort of my friends most of the time. Still can't help but space out every once in a while. It sucks.

Peculiar homosexuals scare the bjeeburz out of me. Ugh. But I can't rant about it here. I just might fail a subject *wink wink, nudge nudge*

I still hope that the next days will be somehow better. Not expecting the best. Just... Better.

I hate my hormones. Die, hormones, die!! Stop ruining my life!!!!!!!!!
And I most especially hate teenage angst. Which is what I'm doing.

Stop, oh please.

Adios.

I Want To Sleep.

2009-06-22T12:08:00.000+08:00

I went to a debut last night. It's probably the last I debut attended and participated in. After last night, the next debut will be ages away.

My mom got me prettified in the salon for 300 bucks. I got a decent make-up, and a really fucking stone-hard up do hair. Yep, hair spray galore.

And so earlier, I looked like a lioness when I woke up in the morning with poofy, messy hair and everything. I also found out that I was going to be late for mass. So I just whipped out some clothes, tied my hair back and walked to church.

I had this big poofy hair for the rest of the day until I decided to take a bath just a few hours ago. I had the most difficult time in the shower today. Much more difficult than when I used to give my little sister a bath. Ugh.

Nonetheless, even if I don't act all girly-girl very often, it's still nice to feel pretty in a nice dress with nice hair and nice make-up every once in a while. Everyone last night looked so good, I would say even I looked nice.

I tried to have as much fun as I can despite the current disputes at hand. Although, the night would have been so much better if the boyfriend was able to attend as well. Nevertheless, his snowflake speech (proxy-ed but someone else) was as hilarious as ever.

And also, even if no one actually reads this blog:

Happy Birthday again to Keena and thanks to her for having me at her party.
For my friends, thank you. You guys rock.

Good night.

I Deserve It

2009-06-22T04:24:00.000+08:00

One day, I held a beautiful flower in my hand..
I played with it every time.
And I marveled at its beauty.
I gave the flower all my love.

But then...
I forgot to water it.
I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking.
It was a silly, silly mistake.

So, it begins to whither..
A petal had dried, and I feel wretched.
I prepare the water,
And wait out for the sun to shine at its best.

I turn my head Up,
And pray so hard to the Creator of this flower that I love.
That may He help me save it with all my might and strength.
That it may bloom again really soon..

___________________________________________________________________

Help me.

The Enemies

2009-06-20T12:28:00.000+08:00

It has been more than a year, and you know that you trust him, Nikki. Because if you didn't, it would've ended long before.

The second chance wouldn't have happened.

Deep in you, you know that you trust and believe him. But it is because of your paranoia and insecurity that pushes you to think that you don't. But you do! Because you are sure about how he feels and you believe him, you are sure about how you feel and you believe in the two of you.

You need not be insecure. You need not be paranoid.

Never entertain these two enemies again. Never again, Nikki. Don't let it jeopardize something beautiful. You know that you can do better.

Let's fighting! Protect my balls!

Stupid job

2009-06-14T08:00:00.000+08:00

I have never felt more frustrated toward something in a long time. I just want to break every fragile object I come across. I want to strangle necks. I want to punch anyone who's willing to irk me even further.

OMG. FUCK YOU ALL.

Anyway, I got a job in Essays.ph, and I think.... It's... WEIRD and kinda stupid in a way. Just utterly weird and stupid. I claimed a writing assignment on Dating and Relationships, and it was due about thirty minutes ago. I decided to just fuck it at the last minute, and "quit" my "job". Hahaha. Fuck you guys.

Argh. I need money.

Surprise, cockfags!

2009-06-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

I got a surprise today! No, not a bad surprise-i-have-AIDS kind. A good kind.
Yipee! :D

NIKKI!!!!!!

2009-06-08T03:26:00.000+08:00

GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP AND DO THAT STORY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS OR ELSE YOU'RE DOOMED!!!!

Well, not really.

All I've been doing lately is sit in front of my laptop doing useless stuff (except maybe, chatting). I can't even move on with a lecture I'm listening to, or finish that sketch I've been doing for ages, or... Pick up a book from my reading list.

Lazy, lazy... Lazy!!!

Sigh... Come on, Nikki!! Story-writing time!

Doomed

2009-06-07T02:40:00.000+08:00

The given situation/s only get worse because I over think things...

I should really stop doing that.

Anyway, I just got enlisted. My mondays/thursdays are horrible, my tuesdays/fridays are full.

I am going to hate this sem with all fervor. And I might not be able to direct a play anymore.

Everything sucks balls. But I'm still trying to find something to look forward to. Please. Let there be SOMETHING.

Mabilis Nga Ang Takbo ng Oras...

2009-06-05T05:22:00.000+08:00

But given what I'm currently feeling, I want it to go faster.

For some weird probably-known-but-i-won't-admit-it-even-to-myself reason, I want this fucking day to be over quick.

For that matter, I also want this storm/typhoon/rain thing to be over soon.

I want enlistment to be over.

Sigh. Can't days just move a little bit faster right now? Just right now.
GAH.

It's 2:22. Making a wish.

Eto na lang:

2009-06-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

I hate rainy days. It gets me... down.
-Carpenters. Not in those exact words, mind you.

Blah.

I Don't Know You, But I Think I Hate You

2009-06-03T17:05:00.000+08:00

...You're not the reason for my misery.

I'm not okay. FUCK-O. Hahazzz.

This Blog...

2009-06-03T16:24:00.000+08:00

is slowly becoming my outlet for my frustrations.. anger.. shit.

So I am enlisting on the 6th. Frick on a stick. I'm gonna get the left over slots... I don't think I WILL be able to get even the slots in my emergency schedules. Note the plurality: schedules.

I got a glimpse of the slots earlier, and there is no fucking way that I'm getting an Australia this sem. Which means, I'm gonna have to take TRIPLE Prs' next sem? I am fucked.

But still, I am blessed with Baretto and Marco for majors. Yes! I'm so excited, yet nervous. Wohoo!

Of all things shitty and fucked up

2009-06-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

I'm not in a very good mood. Yeah, that's all what I'm gonna say.

I need inspiration. I can't move on with that story I'm working on, and I have to have a material presented before school starts. If not, then I'll keep hiding from Bodega peepzzf.

Fuck. Enslistment. Enough said.

It is eating me up AGAIN for the umpteenth time. Yeah, you're better. Fuck you.

By the way, my piano playing is suffering too much. I should tone down on my writing and/or visual type stuff, and start practicing again...

But before that:

I tried my hand on pentel pen art. It's going pretty well. I haven't finished the piece yet. Probably gonna brag it in Multiply if it ends up really nice.

Bye.

Enlistment is Killing Me

2009-05-31T14:58:00.000+08:00

I'm entering the battle on June 5-6, and so... It is wise to prepare now.

After having gone through five UA&P Enlistment Hell, it's still killing me.

1. The scheduling of subjects is the most wearying of all tasks. There are so many things to consider when planning a schedule: the subject, the teacher, the time and how it relates to your friends and all that.

2. Then comes the enlistment itself that is nothing but frustrating and could also be heart-breaking. This process just completely obliterates the aforementioned, leaving you without a choice but to just stick to what's available on the list (unless you have the luxury of early online enlistment).

After that, it's all a breeze...

For next five or four days at least. Sigh.

Majority of my day...

2009-05-29T06:35:00.000+08:00

has been, and is going to be, spent on the internet and TV. What's sad is I've been watching a lot of telenovelas lately, and I've realized something strange...

Filipino telenovelas have a good tendency to become music videos. Seriously, finish an entire song in the middle of the show? Crazy guys.

Misan talaga...

2009-05-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

On the way back from Mission Hills to Vista Verde:

I particularly noticed a Mercury Drug in Taytay. Passing by it, I just sort of stared at it for a long time.

After about twenty minutes, the mother called saying that the father is very sick and is in dire need of medicine. So, I was asked to buy a few stuff from the next Mercury Drug or pharmacy we could get to.

Well.. We never came across another branch.

Minsan talaga, nakikita mo lang yung kahalagahan ng isang bagay pag lumipas o dumaan na ito.

Ang lungkot. Pag-nandiyan yung bagay, hindi mo kailangan o gusto. Pero pag nawala, ayun na. Hinahanap. Masasabi mo nalang: Sayang.

Also, they should place more Mercury Drug branches and pharmacies all over the place. It's medicine, damn it.

I have issues like a good magazine

2009-05-27T06:54:00.000+08:00

I'm not exactly what you would call a happy and friendly person. In fact, I am FAR from that. I am an anti-social, introvert, grumpy bitch who probably wouldn't talk to you unless you initiate the conversation, or unless I need something from you (Also, unless we're good friends).

Now, it has always been an issue that the world has against me. Masungit ako e. Now don't get me wrong, of course this attitude isn't just THERE... Sometimes it occurs due to certain circumstances such as the heat, and most of the time, annoying people. I'd like to think that my patience just wears off easily compared to other people. Fine. Sometimes... it's just THERE.

But my being masungit doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. I don't think I'm horrible. On the contrary, I'd like to think I'm nice... Yeah. Sarcasm aside, I probably am.

Just something I've been thinking about recently. Yeah...

GIVE ME CAMERA!

2009-05-26T04:21:00.000+08:00

this is what's keeping me preoccupied at the present. Since Joao decided to resurrect his Tita's Olympus film camera, we've been on this film photography for the win frenzy.

I must say, if one really wants to learn photography, one must go through the painstaking training ground that is the manual SLR.

Having discovered the lost art of film photography (And immensely enjoying it), I all the more found myself wanting a digital SLR... Which I will probably have my hands on once I get a job. Sigh, sigh, and sigh.

But in the meantime, more than anything else, I would like to master film photography... From the hip, for the win!

Broke

2009-05-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

I am upset because I am broke. I am broke, therefore I can not head out of the house. Which means I can not watch teh boyfriend's band's gig tonight for a ticket costs 300 pesos.

Sucks because teh parents had allowed me to head out for that event. Although there's another one on Saturday... I hope teh parents decide to give me money by then.

This is one of those moments when I wish I were a freelance graphic artist and can pull money out of my ass (or bank account).

That is all for now. Goodbye.

Dusty

2009-05-20T18:41:00.000+08:00

Hello? *echo* I haven't touched this site for a long time. The thought came up to me to set my online life straight. So, from now on, I suppose my Blogspot will be for personal use, and whatever boring stuff I have to share. For instance, my summer escapades. Yeah, boring. Meanwhile, I guess my multiply blog will be for sharing strange, yet socially relevant, information for my contacts. Facebook and plurk will be for checking up on friends and people. I don't even know why I have a twitter account. Oh well. I've also created a flickr account because of the recent analog SLR mania.

Bye.

30

2009-04-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

Scrubs inspired me to do this. J.D. had a list of things to do before he turns 30, so I figured, why not prepare myself a list as well? I have twelve things to accomplish before I turn 30. Why twelve? I'm turning nineteen this year, and I intend to check off one from the list each year until I turn 30 :) So, in no particular order:

* Get married to a guy I've known for at least three years. Which means whoever is gonna be around when I'm 27 should be IT.
* Graduate from school (hopefully with a Master's degree.)
* Sing Me First and The Gimme Gimme's punk cover of "Save The Best for Last" with a band. In front of an audience
* Play "Play That Funky Music" in the car on maximum volume, windows down, and dance along with it while driving up Julia Vargas and boasting my hanging skills to pay the bills.
* Get piss drunk, drive home, and still be alive.
* Smoke a stick of cigarette
* Own a bikini thing. The kind that screams, "Check the attention-whore" and wear it in a crowded beach.
* Hug Grimace and ask, "What are you?" so that in the future, if Grimace will still exist, I am equipped with first-hand information for my children.
* Drive at 200+kph in NLEX/SLEX
* Go to an Embassy-ish place, and genuinely enjoy it.
* Sit down in Starbucks with a bunch of friends and try to get a planner in one seating.
* LEARN. TO. COOK. seriously.

All I've Got To Do

2009-03-22T13:19:00.000+08:00

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Then tag at least 10 of your friends so they would be the next to answer.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
You Have Just Been Erased - Austrian Death Machine

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Getsumen Buotu - Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Almost - Bowling for Soup

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Tritsch Tratsch - Strauss II

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Green Eyes - Coldplay

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ride of The Valkyries - Wagner

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Dominated Love Slave - Green Day

WHAT IS 2+2?
Falling for You - Weezer

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Anthem - Blink-182

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Oppotunities - some new wave song

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
If You Leave

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Boring - Blink-182

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Derka Derka (Terrorist Theme) - Team America OST

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
122403 - Draw It

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Believe - Goldie

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
2113 - Bowling for Soup

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Isn't She Lovely - Me First and The Gimme Gimmes

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Batidinha - Antonio Jobim

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Disappearing Boy - Green Day

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Driving Home For Christmas - some smooth jazz stuff

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Drive - The Matches

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Baby You're a Rich Man - The Beatles

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
America, Fuck Yeah - Team America OST

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Revolution 1 - The Beatles

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Happy Ever After - Sonia

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Chuck Mangione - Children of S

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Across The Universe - Fiona Apple

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling Ka - Eraserheads

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
You Lied - Green Day

WHAT IS MAKING YOU HAPPY RIGHT NOW?
Getchoo - Weezer

WHAT IS YOUR BACKGROUND MUSIC WHILE MAKING LOVE?
You're All I Want for Christmas - Isabella Ortega

WHAT ARE YOUR LAST WORDS BEFORE YOU DIE?
Painted Desert - David Benoit

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
All I've Got To Do - The Beatles

Away

2009-01-10T21:15:00.001+08:00

Blah.

Bring Out The Fireworks. It's A Year-ender MEME!

2008-12-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

Sign of a dying blog: MEME!/SURVEY!

I wasn't tagged or anything. I just found this "meme" (such a funny sounding thing) from http://www.sandierpastures.com/friday-fillers/x-years-ago-a-meme.html. Honestly, I don't remember how I ended up in that blog site. It's interesting though.

15 years ago...

I was three years old. I attended school at Fremont Learning Center as a nursery student. Fremont, which seemed huge and palace-like to me at that time, had a piano. I remember that I'd always sit there during recess/dismissal time and pretend to play a few classical pieces, particularly Handel's "Hallelujah". In my mind, I thought I was doing it pretty well, when in reality, I was just banging random keys.

Besides that, I still wore diapers. I cried almost everyday before leaving the
house because I wished my parents came with me to school. I had a yellow rectangle
plastic lunchbox that always contained cookies and milk (in a bottle. I retired this at 6 years old). I always joined declamation/poetry reading contests and drawing contests.

Wow. I just realized that I was an artsy-farsty kid... Who acted like a one-year old.

10 years ago...

I was eight years old and I was probably in 2nd grade.I was always alone, an outcast... A lone shadow of a man..

After joining the Art Club the year before, I decided to try out something new: I joined the Dance Club. For having done that, I got laughed at and picked on. Dancing was never (will never) be my thing. For some reason, I had no real friends.
The girls didn't want to hang out with me (for reasons I can barely remember. I think
it was because I had very, very, very messy hair and I had the same Hello Kitty bag as one of the "popular" girls in class.) and the boys were totally annoying so I stayed as far away from them as possible.

At home, I felt out-casted as well because I thought that all the attention was given to the baby: Maggie. I hated her more that time than I do now...

5 years ago...

I had just graduated from from grade school. I took an entrance exam in Saint Bridget School and passed. Little did I know that time, I was about to have the best four years of my life
thus far.

It was the year that I met the people who had a huge say in shaping my personality at present. It was the birth of a group called "Topaks". It was a stupid name so it was eventually forgotten, but the group stayed solid friends.

It was the year that we almost got the whole batch in trouble because of a game we
emanated called "Ang-ni-ay-ni" ;)

3 years ago...

I was in third year high school. My opinion, the best high school year I spent. Much thought was given to which summer tutorial we will be enrolling in for the college entrance exams. I chose UPlink. They never really contributed anything.

Chuck Norris and Steven Seagul were made fun of a lot... Or was that in 4th year..?

1 year ago...

It was the last day of 2007. I was in the second sem of my freshman year in UA&P. At this exact moment last year, I was probably blogging my year-end post (which became a hit, by the way). If you read that post, it would be easy to surmise that I was a pretty happy freshman/incoming sophomore.

Now, I'm still pretty happy.

Yesterday...

I spent the entire day contemplating on whether I should start with my homeworks. While contemplating, I was playing Mobwars on Facebook and imagining myself to be Vito Corleone's kickass daughter (even if he never had a kickass daughter, his daughter in the movie was pretty stupid and married an dickwad traitor). And chatting on YM. One whole day dedicated to that.

After much deliberation, I decided yesterday that I will be doing school stuff today.

Today...

I am blogging my year-end entry which I will probably post after I re-post that "Hacienda Animal" promotion entry (I dunno what to call it). Hopefully, I will finish doing my homework for Mon/Thur classes, and if I had more time, sketch a bit, and then celebrate New Year's Eve with my family. No fireworks for us tonight (My dad finally realized it's a waste of
money), instead we'll just be atop the roof deck and be entertained by other people's money blowing up in the sky.

Tomorrow...

Will be January 1, 2009. A new year ahead, but still the old life we are all living. Economic apocalypse ahead of the year. Four days after tomorrow, I go back to UA&P where the dilemma of finally choosing a course will face me... Oh well. Good luck to me.

Happy Year of the Ox, everyone! Yeah.. Happy New Year to you. Have a good one.

I hope you all got the 2009 planners you wanted.

Burglars Suck, They Really Really Suck

2008-12-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

Scums of the Earth. Can't be fucked to make a decent living. Always feeding on other people's shit. Seriously, I hate people who steal in whatever form they may appear in.

Yesterday morning, probably between 4.30-6 (I slept at 4 A.M.) someone/some people ransacked our house. As of this moment, they're probably selling my laptop, our digicam, my mom's jewelry, our Playstation II, one of our DVD players, my dad's gun, and some money from my dad's, mom's and sister's wallets.

It's absolutely unfair.

They robbed our stuff. We worked hard to earn them, and all they do is break in and take it because "they need the money". Fuck. If they need money, they must work for it like decent people do. I don't care if they can't pay their bills anymore, I don't care if their daughter is sick, I don't care if they have a billion children to have educated. WORK FOR IT, DAMN IT. WORK FOR IT DECENTLY.

It's not our fault they're destitute, so why do we have to suffer for it?

I might be being mean... But it really makes me sick that a lot of people are like that.

On the lighter side, I'm grateful to God that we're all alive.

Rebirth and My True Inspiration

2008-12-28T11:05:00.000+08:00

I've decided to resurrect my Blogger account (for the umpteenth time). Unlike before, I won't promise to update this often. Instead, what I will say is that this blog will be forgotten (again) in about one month, to say the least. I will try my best to keep this blog updated, but it's hard if no one really patronizes me :( Moving on...

I realized that my true inspiration in life is you. Yes, you if I meet you and I think, "Hey, this person is pretty cool. I kinda see myself in him/her in a way, only he/she is probably better than me... in a way." So the resurrection of this blog gives credit to the, I would think, "pro-bloggers" out there whose blogs I somewhat frequent. Take me, my masters! Kthnxbai!